Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Ethane Exporter Says U.S. Won’t Allow Shipments to China - WSJ

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

United Switches Off Starlink Internet on Regional Jets After Static Problem - WSJ

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Ryan Lochte’s wife Kayla reveals ‘painful’ divorce after seven years of marriage - New York Post

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

New Study Finds 1 Promising Way To Keep Colon Cancer From Returning - HuffPost

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Google quietly released an app that lets you download and run AI models locally - TechCrunch

I don’t buy bullshit

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

U.S. Space Force awards BAE Systems $1.2 billion contract for missile-tracking satellites - SpaceNews

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What was something you did naughty with your cousin?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Early humans took a giant evolutionary leap when they started eating meat - Earth.com

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fakery

Lawsuit says mayor called people who opposed Buc-ee's project 'terrorists' - 9News

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write